FML: A Very Lemon Weekend

     My sweet weekend soon turned sour at the bus terminal at about 12:45 am, waiting for the bus to go home when I realized that I no longer had my keys.  I had been having a fun Saturday night, drinking at Esquire with Jessica, Chris and Sean, as well as Dan B., who kept referring to me as "Liz Lemon".  Little did he know that his description would turn out to be so accurate.   

      Luckily I still had my phone and Sean, so we called the remaining friends at the bar to ask if my keys were still at the table or if anyone at the bar had found them.  No such luck.  I ended up staying on Sean's couch and throwing out my last pair of contact lenses (I knew I should have ordered more....  I will probably have to wear glasses for the rest of the semester.) because I can't sleep in them and he didn't have any contact solution, not being visually impaired as I am.  I had called the bus company, and the person I spoke to took down my information and told me that they'd call me if my keys had been found.  The next morning, I still hadn't received any call.  

     Now, let me inform you what "my keys" actually signifies: On one single orange Illinois lanyard that I'd gotten for free on Quad day, I have my student ID ($20 replacement fee for that), my fitness class pass (okay, I haven't been to a class this week, but I'd been planning on attending at least a few more class sessions), a rape whistle, complimentary of my sophomore year dorm, the key to my parents' house, the key to my dad's old Nissan (which has since been sold), my apartment keys, which include a door key, a fob, and a mailbox key (at least a $75 replacement fee) and all my FLB keys (outside key, office key, and my overhead compartment key).

     After having watched the 3-hour French movie, Indochine, which is required for our French Around the World class, with Sean, I called MTD back to see if the bus driver had turned in my lost items.  The woman who answered told me that if no one from MTD had called me, nothing had been found, but that the bus driver might have dropped my keys off at the terminal office.  Which is closed on Sunday.

     Sean offered to let me stay another night at his apartment, which was very kind, but my day starts at 8am tomorrow, and I need to do lesson plans and homework, and I would worry about getting from his apartment to FLB by 8 in the morning.

     We drove down to the area around Esquire and searched a bit ourselves, but came up with nothing.  Finally we stopped by my apartment management company.  Which, it turns out, is closed on Sunday.

     I ended up having to call the emergency maintenance number ($75 fee if they don't consider your problem an "emergency") to get a maintenance person to come open my door for me ($75 fee).  Sean dropped me off at Espresso Royale to wait for the maintenance guy, where I ate lunch in the loft by myself, greasy hair, last night's makeup, pants covered in food and mud I had kicked up walking in puddles last night and inflicted by a hole I'd noticed last night.  As if my appearance and situation were not Lemonesque enough, a cute guy at the table adjacent to mine asked me a question about statistics (actually a rather simple one; he asked me what a 1:1 relationship was in the context he had been reading about....  It turns out (that is, it has been divulged by my eavesdropping of his conversation with a classmate that stopped by to talk to him) that he is an acting student.

     I haven't changed my locks yet.  By the way, in case you don't believe in astrology, here is my horoscope for today:

Here is your single's love horoscope for Sunday, April 19:

Some changes are in order when it comes to your household. Your dual nature seeks balance and harmony, but your living situation is anything but. Whether you live alone or in an animal house of sorts, keep it simple and stick to a plan. 

(Yes, I am patheticsville and get free single's love horoscopes emailed to me by astrology.com)

     Now I'm in my apartment, waiting for a stalker who has looked up my address by seeing my name on my ID card to come rape and pillage me.  Too bad he has my whistle.