The paranoid delusions start early this season

Today, I woke up at approximately 4:44 a.m..  I remembered that I had not set any alarms and that I'd left my phone as well as my watch in the other room.  What I neglected to remember is that it is Saturday, and that I have no time-sensitive obligations over the weekend-that is to say that it was not, as I thought, Friday morning, and I had not slept in through a class I had to teach.  In a paranoid frenzy, I sprung from my bed and bounded head-first into the side of my bedroom door, which had been cracked open enough for me to believe, falsely, that I was about to head past the door and not into it.  I then hobbled (because my paranoid subconscious probably thought that the collision had caused some neurological damage in the part of my brain that controls what I'll call "leg motor skills") to the kitchen to check the time, grab my Hello Kitty ice pack and drag the former back to bed with me.  That pretty much set the tone for the day.